Operation Make a Difference In the World

I have been thinking for quite some time how I can make my Summer different this year then in past years.

I love to make friends, learn something new from someone, and help people in some small way every day.

I don't have all the means to clothe people or to make sure every person has a full belly, but I do have a willing heart and a desire to make a difference in the world even if it is only one persons world.

Six years ago, as I have mentioned before, I was going through a difficult period in my life.  One of the people I loved was going through the dying process.  It was my dad.  As I have mentioned in previous blogs my parents divorced when I was 19.  My mother stayed in Bountiful and my father moved to Oregon.

I mentioned that one of my biggest regrets was that I never went to see my dad in the twenty five years he lived in Oregon.  The first time I saw him in Oregon was when we learned he had six weeks to six months to live.  The reason I never went to Oregon was because he never invited me.  I spoke to him periodically.  I sent birthday cards, Father Day cards and Christmas cards.  Some years he sent Christmas cards.  Towards the end of his life he started sending a check to me that was meant for all of his kids and grandkids to get together and have dinner.  We did this for about five years and it was really nice.  The entire time my dad lived in Oregon he never sent me a birthday card or called me to wish me a Happy Birthday.  I still don't understand why.  I wish I could talk to him some times and ask why he didn't do that.

The closest my dad ever came to inviting me to Oregon was when he would tell me about his favorite seafood restaurant.  He would tell me how much I would love the shrimp.  I have always wondered if that was supposed to be an invitation to come see him and go to his favorite restaurant.  I really don't know.  Sometimes I tell myself that is what he was trying to do.

When we went to see my dad my true self came out.  It is the self that cares very deeply about people.  It is the self who can forgive and who can still try to get everyone to like her.  I didn't know what to do for my dad.  It was a shock to see the man who could climb to the top of a mountain to hunt for deer or the man who could fish all day long and never grow tired hooked up to an oxygen machine and be to weak to make it to the bathroom and back without having to stop and rest.

The thing I found that I could do was to serve him in a very small way.  One night we went out to dinner and I sat across from my dad.  We were eating at a buffet restaurant.  He was to weak to get his own food.  He didn't even have much of an appetite.  He did like the cake that they served and so I sat across from him and when he felt like he could eat I would go and get his food for him.

One other night we were at the condominium having a steak cook-out.  My dad was to weak to go with us to the grocery store.  He rested at home and we went to the store for the food.  We got him the cut of steak he wanted and we cooked it to his liking.  I sat across the table from him again and asked him questions and tried to get him to talk and tell us things that we would never have the opportunity to have him tell us again.

When it was time for my dad and his wife Suzie to leave we all went out to the parking lot to say good-bye.  Of course, I started crying and could not stop.  I knew this would be my last time to see my dad alive in this life.  I later found out that he asked Suzie what was wrong?  We were acting like he was going to die or something.  I don't think my dad realized how sick he really was.  He fought it till the end when the doctors told him there was nothing more they could do for him.  He said o.k. and he died a short time later.

I only tell this experience because it shows how I want to live my life.  I want to let go of past grievances and to love people even if they don't love me or don't have the capacity to show it.  I believe that is what the Savior would want me to do.

I have started today by taking the time to make a difference in a six year old's life.  My cute neighbor boy Zander was outside playing.  I asked him if he wanted a popscicle.  I took one outside for myself too.  He asked me what the red popscicle was for.  I said "I'm going to sit outside under the shade with you and hear about life as seen through the eyes of a six year old. " A six year old who will be seven in one week and seven days!  It doesn't take much.  Sometimes it just takes a popsicle and a listening ear.

I'm going to post my experiences once a week.  I have asked for them and I can't wait to see what will happen each day.  I hope everyone has a wonderful Summer.

I also want to thank all the veterans who have so unselfishly served our country.  I especially want to thank my son Shawn and his friends Roy and Taylor who went to Iraq most recently.  I know the sacrifice you made and it makes a difference to me.